So I'm just going to skip my normal introductions with emails today, talking about how much I love my mission and how fabulous everything is here. Haha but honestly, I feel like I start every email the same way. Sorry for the consistent repetition, but life is like that on the mission haha.
However, we had another fabulous week, of course! Guess what? We have ANOTHER baptism this weekend. Yay! Her name is Juraci and she is the cutest old lady in the world! She is the mom of a recent convert, and she has such a huge desire to be baptized. I don't think I have ever cried so much as I did in our lessons with her this week. She just wants to do her best to follow the Lord and what He has commanded us. She is literally the most darling thing in the world and we are SO excited for her baptism this weekend. Be excited for pictures next week (:
So I've been doing an insane amount of studying this past week. Insane. I find myself using every spare minute of my day looking up scriptures, reading Preach My Gospel, or reading Conference talks. Why? Because I feel like there is so much more I need to be learning. Knowledge is such an important thing to gain, and I am doing my best to learn all that I can haha. My 3 hours of study in the morning just doesn't seem to cut it haha.
Anyways, I really started focusing in on the power of God, and how we all have the ability to use that power as long as we use our faith. One scripture that I absolutely loved, that I now have hanging on my desk is 1 Nephi 17:50-51 :
50 And I said unto them: If God had commanded me to do all things I could do them. If he should command me that I should say unto this water, be thou earth, it should be earth; and if I should say it, it would be done.
51 And now, if the Lord has such great power, and has wrought so many miracles among the children of men, how is it that he cannot instruct me, that I should build a ship?
You can all put your own challenge in at the end of this scripture. Sometimes you are given challenges, like building a ship. It seems like it is impossible, like everyone in the world doesn't believe in you, like it would be so much easier just to give up or go home. Maybe it would be. However, you were given this challenge for a reason. He KNEW you were strong enough to do it. And He has all the power in the world. So maybe, yeah, it is something hard. Maybe you can't do it by yourself. But, He is able to do it for you.
In the scheme of things, our problems sometimes seem simple. I tend to ask myself, "Why am I struggling so much with this little problem I am having, when it seems like other people have such harder things to deal with?" But still, I am struggling. Still, I need the help of the Lord. So why wouldn't I use His help? How is it that He cannot instruct me, that I should be a great missionary? That I should help this less-active family? That I should get over any homesickness? That I should help my trainee be the very best missionary in the field? Maybe it is something simple, but it is something I need help with. We have to turn to Him. We have to use His love that He gives us so willingly. When we are using our faith to show that we really are relying on Him, that we trust in Him, He will make miracles happen in our lives as well.
It has been a difficult lesson for me to learn. As someone who has always been very independent, it has been difficult to learn humility, to learn that I truly cannot do this on my own. But as I have started to give up my stubborn ways, I am seeing that I am becoming who the Lord needs me to be. Things are becoming easier.
I love this work. I love my Heavenly Father so much. My relationship with Him has grown so much over the past nine months and I will never be able to express my gratitude for that. This is HIS WORK. This is HIS CHURCH. I love you all so much. Have a great week (:
PS - I had a dream they made a Book of Mormon movie last night and I was BEYOND pumped. I am such a missionary...